Evelyn earnestly begged me as though everything depended on it, but I ignored her completely. Her words felt like a forbidden tune I refused to entertain at that time.
Noticing that I was giving her no attention, she began to cry out loudly, like someone grieving a deep and personal loss.
Evelyn was getting under my skin, and it annoyed me. Did she really have to cry over every minor issue? I was the one who was lied to, the one who was betrayed. If anyone had a reason to shed tears, it was me, not her.
“Now tell me the reason you are crying......Must you cry about everything?”.........I asked sternly.
“Pascal please forgive me, I beg you in the name of God”.........she replied, amidst tears.
I drew a deep breath. While her tears tugged at me, they couldn’t undo the reality that she had concealed such a profound secret for so long. How could I ever trust her again?
I felt compelled to say something, just to make her stop crying, even if my words weren’t genuine.
“Alright then, I have forgiven you, just stop crying”........I said coldly.
I thought my words would calm her, but instead, they only made her cry harder.
Pulling her into my arms, I wrapped them around her neck and held her close.
My anger had faded, and now here I was, comforting the very person who should have been offering me support.
“It's alright, I have forgiven you, and I want you to stop crying”........I said gently.
“I am sorry, I didn’t want you to get hurt, that's why I kept it away from you all this while”........she replied, amidst sobbing.
“It's fine my dear, I understand.....I know you were only trying to help”.........I muttered calmly, and gently caressed her.
We stayed in that embrace until her sobs ceased. The rest of the night was quiet, with little conversation between us. Come morning, we both prepared for school and left my apartment in silence.
Even though I hoped to forget the whole ordeal, a part of me couldn’t shake the desire to see Mirabel. I felt this overwhelming urge to release my frustration on her, to confront her and say the things that had been weighing on me.
I reached out to her after my classes and told her to meet me at the quadrangle by my department.
I sat on the curb, focused on my phone, waiting for Mirabel. Around twenty minutes later, she arrived and sat down next to me.
“Good evening, what’s up?”........she greeted.
“I’m good. How are you?”.......I asked nonchalantly, still typing on my phone.
“I’m fine”.......she replied.
“You had lectures today?”........I asked, trying to ease the anger building up inside me.
“Yes, just one. Are you ok?”.......she asked, noticing my gloomy expression.
“Yes I’m fine”........I said sternly.
“Is he the guy you are still with?”.........I suddenly blurted out, and she was taken aback by my question.
I knew that was probably the furthest thing from what she expected me to ask. Her expression gave it all away.
“Who are you talking about Pascal?”........she asked, confused.
“The guy you were having sêx with behind my back in first year, or rather the guy you were mating along with me”........I snapped.
“I guess she has finally told you everything isn't it? Anyways, I'm not surprised”........she mumbled.
“That is not the answer to my question”........I barked.
“No, I’m not with him anymore. We ended things a long time ago”.........she muttered.
“Why did you do that? You should have told me that you were tired of me instead of fooling me”.........I snapped.
“Pascal, you have to understand that I didn’t fool you......I really feel bad for what I did, but I don’t regret it. And just for the records, you pushed me into it”..........she fired back, and I stared at her in disbelief.
“You are joking right? How did I push you into it? But you know I loved you with my life then, how could you say that I pushed you into cheating on me?”.........I said, feeling heartbroken.
“Pascal, we need to put an end to this. What happened between us is in the past......We shouldn't reopen old wounds. We were both immature back then. Let's focus on making things right from here on out”..........she suggested, but I wasn't cooperating with her.
“I don't agree with you Mirabel, you have to explain to me how I pushed you into having affairs behind my back?”.........I demanded.
“You pushed me away when you started giving all your attention to Evelyn. You pushed me away when you started fûcking her behind my back, or you think I won't find out?”.........she outlined.
“See Mirabel I.....”
I tried to defend myself when she got to the part where she said I was sleeping with Evelyn behind her back, but she cut me short immediately.
“You have to let me finish Pascal, I never interrupted you since I came here”.........she said rudely.
“You pushed me away when she started doing what I was supposed to be doing for you and you never objected.......Pascal I’m a girl, and also a human. I have feelings too........You were my boyfriend and not hers. Even when I complained, you never heeded my complaints”..........she concluded.
“I never made out with Evelyn when you and I were together......She knew you were my girlfriend and she even had a boyfriend then......So was that an excuse for you to start frolicking with another guy? What happened to communication?........I said coldly.
“Its not my fault Pascal, it's yours. I was lonely and depressed. You stopped giving me attention and focused on Evelyn......That guy then was always there for me. But even at that I still cared about you”.........she muttered soberly.
“So, is that supposed to make up for what you did?”........I said sarcastically.
“Absolutely no, the guy and I were only close mutual friends, and we made out just once........I eventually severed ties with the guy, when Evelyn made me end things with you”...........she clarified.
“You know, the truth is, I wanted you to refute it. I expected you to tell me it was all a misunderstanding. It may be in the past, but knowing it now still hurts. I wanted you to say something else, even though I already knew the truth”..........I lamented, feeling deeply hurt.
“Unfortunately, I can’t deny it or lie to you about it........its best I come clean before you and say it as it is”.........she mumbled.
“Very well then, When Evelyn told me everything, I felt bad and hurt. I had many hurtful things I wanted to say to you, but now I guess there's no point saying them anymore”.........I mumbled.
“Pascal, I'm really sorry. Maybe you should express your feelings. It could help you feel better”........she advised.
I’m not sure why, but out of nowhere, tears began to well up in my eyes. I wanted to say something, but the words just wouldn’t come.
The tears were coming so quickly that I had to lift my head to stop them from spilling. It was the last thing I expected to happen at that moment.
I wiped my nose and averted my gaze, trying to avoid disappointing myself any more.
I was eager to end things with Mirabel and walk away, but my emotions were holding me back. I cleared my throat twice before I was able to find my words.
“I guess this is where we truly call it quits. I've always felt guilty, thinking I ended what we had, but now that I know it was you who dumped me, it somehow gives me some relief”.......I said coldly.
“Pascal please listen to me.......Ever since the dispute between us, I have always wanted to make things right since we parted”
“My heart always skips a beat, each time I see your call. I have always wanted to come back and tell you the truth, but I guess I never found the courage to, not until recently”
“I want to make things right between us if you would allow me. But if not, then I guess she has won me again and for the last time”.......she concluded.
Before she could finish speaking, tears were already streaming down my face. I couldn’t believe I was responding like this.
“I wish our paths would never cross again, Good bye”........I said coldly, and hurriedly walked away before she could say anything else.
Our emotions can easily spiral out of control. It can either break us down or bring us closer, shaping the way we connect with others.
I trudged back home, feeling like the world was out to get me. Once I got to my apartment, I ate the leftover food Evelyn had prepared the day before.
It was still early, around 6 p.m., but I didn’t mind. I turned off my phone without a second thought and quickly fell asleep.
To Be Continued...........
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